Who Needs the Fairytale
by Cactusgirlie
Summary: Neela needs to make an important decision in her personal and working life and hopes Abby can offer some wisdom.
1. Acceptance

**Who needs the fairytale?**

**Summary: Neela needs Abby's advice when she finds herself facing a difficult decision. Set towards the end of season 15. Currently a two-parter but may be developed, we'll see how it all works out.**

**Disclaimer - I'd love to own the characters, storylines, actors and sets but I really don't have room in my little house. Maybe I could just have Ray….? Would that be OK?**

It had been a tough shift and Neela had taken her earliest opportunity to slip out of County General. It was unlike her to pay attention to breaks and finishing times but the day had worn her down and she realised with a bit of a shock that she hadn't felt this physically and mentally exhausted for a long, long time.

She arrived at the El platform not long before the train itself and on boarding, she was glad to see that the train was as empty as she'd ever seen it. It was a relief after spending the day providing surgical consults to the busy ER. She could only hope that none of the other passengers would try to strike up a conversation. Usually the casual friendliness of her fellow Chicagoans cheered her and made her feel as though she belonged in the city but recently she had been wishing more and more for the chilly reserve and self sufficiency of the passengers riding the London Tube system. A place where eye contact was strictly forbidden and the only words of conversation exchanged between strangers were stilted "excuse me's". Maybe she was becoming jaded, maybe a little less open she contemplated unhappily. In the past couple of years she had become more confident, harder, tougher. She had thickened her skin and she had earned respect but she sometime wondered what had happened to a more carefree and naïve Neela. She had never been laidback but she had been somewhat looser and the people around her had managed to bring out a brighter version of herself. She frowned and slid further down into her seat, blocking the view rushing past the window.

Thankfully her journey passed uneventfully and she arrived back at her apartment to be caught by her elderly neighbour.

She tried to hide the weariness in her voice. "Good evening Mrs Jameson"

"Neela dear, I signed for some envelopes for you. I hope that was OK?"

Neela received the envelopes gratefully and entered her apartment. As usual, she dumped her bag and coat next to the door and reached for the stereo remote. Soft acoustic music filed the apartment and made the place feel a little more homely. She had never really wanted to make her mark on this apartment. It had always felt like a place to sleep. If she was being truthful she would have to admit that; with the exception of her childhood home; the only place that had ever felt like a refuge from the world had been Ray's old apartment. Messy, chaotic and juvenile it might have been but it was safe and comfortable. She would leave work eager to be home, unwinding on the sofa or eating take away cross-legged on the floor.

Putting the thoughts of Ray out of her mind she turned her concentration to the envelopes in her hand. Three bulky, official-looking envelopes and a scruffy thin package in a padded envelope. Neela recognised the official stamp on the first of the envelopes and tore it open to reveal an acceptance for a surgical fellowship at County if she wished to take it. The second and third envelopes were along similar lines. The second was an acceptance for Duke and roused more interest in Neela than the acceptance for County. The third envelope contained another acceptance but it caused a multitude of emotions. She was excited but also felt a deep rush of shame and embarrassment run through her body. Instead of reading any further through the letters she left them on the coffee table; taking only the padded envelope; and went into the kitchen. She was feeling inclined to make up a pot of coffee but quickly changed her mind and retrieved a good quality bottle of tequila from one of the high shelves. It was saved for emergencies and shocks and she felt today had warranted a couple of shots at least.

She set the bottle and final envelope on the kitchen counter and pulled herself up onto one of the wobbly breakfast stools. After sitting for several minutes and doing nothing but taking occasional sips of tequila she carefully ran a finger through the envelope and pulled out a small hardback book with the smiling faces of Abby, Luka and a chubby looking Joe. She flicked through the pages smiling at some of the older pictures at the front. There was an unimpressed looking Pratt bouncing Joe as Morris pulled faces. There was Frank showing his softer side as Joe played on the admit desk and in a particular heart-warming shot, Ray was holding Joe in his lap as Joe's arms reached out to paw at Ray's beloved guitar. On the last page she found a short handwritten note from Abby.

_'The years haven't been easy and mine and Luka's relationship has not been a fairy tale. There is never a right time and a right way. The day to day reality will always be more important than the big gesture. I'm so lucky to have had all of the struggles and all of the pain because it means my life is real and not a storybook happy ending. Every bad thing that has happened has led me to where I am now and I wouldn't change it if I could. Cinderella is for wimps.'_

Neela picked up the phone and dialled Abby. No one else was in a better place to help her decision.

**A/N I will update soon. I think some good old Abby wisdom would be just the ticket.**


	2. Cruel to be kind

Chapter 2

Cheers for the reviews Guys, this is my second fic ever and my first for a show that actually has a fan fiction readership! The reviews and story alerts mean a lot.

"Please pick up" Neela muttered absently into her mobile.

She didn't underestimate the urge to spill out her problems to another person and she knew that if she couldn't get a hold of Abby she might end up having this discussion with someone far less appropriate. It was difficult being so far away from her closest friends and she cringed at the thought of having to have this conversation with, say, Morris, or worse, Simon. Simon had actually been pretty cool about her idea of leaving County but Neela couldn't help thinking that Simon believed that they would be leaving County together.

Neela pushed all thoughts of Simon out of her head as someone finally picked up the phone at the other end.

"Neela, what the hell are you doing calling my mobile this late? You should be getting some sleep and I should be taking the hot shower I've been dreaming of all day." Abby's words were blunt but her tone was teasing and affectionate and Neela felt safe to continue.

"Yeah, sorry about that Abby. I just needed a little help this evening and believe me, I am not going to find it in the bottom of a tequila bottle."

"You've worked that out huh? I think you may have been growing as a person since I left" Abby gave a wry chuckle and demanded that Neela tell her what the call was about.

"Well, I got some letters in the post today….I love Joe's book by the way…."

"You're stalling Neela, if you're stalling I'll have to leave you to it until you're ready to spill."

"Ok well…I have three acceptance letters for Surgical Fellowships.." Abby congratulated Neela warmly but caught the hesitation in her voice. She knew that as much as it was deserved, Neela was not calling her to celebrate and she let a pause hang in the air until Neela continued with what she needed to say.

"I was accepted at County, at Duke and at…….Lechatlier"

Abby's silence seemed to go on for ever but she recollected her thoughts for the sake of her friend. She cleared her throat and hoped that Neela would accept the limited amount of advice she was going to give her. Sometimes you really did have to be cruel to be kind.

"I take it that you would like me to tell you where you should go?" Without allowing Neela to answer she continued. "Well I can't tell you Neela. It looks as though you've set yourself up three very different paths and I'm not going to tell you which one you should take. The real question is not County, Duke or Lechatlier. The real question is Simon, a fresh start on your own or Ray and you know those are the options too so don't beat about the bush. Call me again when you've made a decision. Oh and Neela, leave the bottle of tequila alone."

The phone clicked off leaving nothing but an empty tone and a very stunned Neela. She sat for several minutes trying to compose herself even though there was no one in the apartment to view her distracted state. She reached for the liquor bottle several times but caught herself and ended up taking Abby's parting words of advice. She even went so far as to hide it on one of the highest shelves, covering it with an old touristy Edinburgh tea towel. The tea towel was one of her Mum's jumble of cast-offs which she'd acquired along with mismatched plates and mugs when she left home for university aged 18. The memory touched her and Neela suddenly realised how strong she'd been back then. Yes, she'd been scared as hell but she'd ignored the feelings of dread and had taken that step when so many of her old school friends had taken the easy options of local universities and quick employment. She had made a life for herself once before. Surely she was strong enough to do it again? She certainly wanted to be strong enough.

Although Neela was still unsure as to what path to take, by the time she slipped into bed she knew something. She would be going to either Duke or Lechatlier . Or 'Fresh Start' or Ray she amended, admitting the truth behind Abby's words. One thing was for sure though. County wasn't getting a look-in.

Neela didn't want the ready-made fairytale with the generic male lead stepping in to save her after so many failed relationships. She wanted to make her own adventures and her own chances.

A/N - So this is a two horse race. I will update and there will be an appearance from Ray.

Also, Neela isn't heartless when it comes to Brenner but I'm going to be honest and say I don't know much about that storyline or Brenner's character. I missed the last half of season 14 and the first 9 episodes of season 15. Even now we're only up to episode 14 in England. All my information thus far has come from you tube, wikipedia and good old fan fiction so if I've made any storyline mistakes let me know. And please take pity on me because I've not been able to see Haunted yet


End file.
